2.1.5

3rd Apr 2018, 12:00 AM in 2: Deliberation
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2.1.5
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Author Notes:

illusionoftheworld 3rd Apr 2018, 12:00 AM edit delete
illusionoftheworld
Thanks for reading!

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Comments:

Anonymoose 3rd Apr 2018, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
Hey there! I've been enjoying this comic, but I wanted to toss you a word of advice - we as readers have already seen/read this information, so Juniper and Sequoia talking about it here feels redundant. Next time, if you want characters to convey information to each other, you should do a fade to black so you aren't recapping things we already know. Looking forward to Thursday's!
illusionoftheworld 3rd Apr 2018, 9:25 AM edit delete reply
illusionoftheworld
If I was having them exactly convey what had happened, this critique would be spot on!

However, if you look closer, there's some important information being added here--not what they experienced, but how they report that experience to one another. They clearly have very different ways of sharing what happened, that make their respective visions seem far more different than they actually were.

Keep an eye on Sequoia's reactions here (and in the future of the story). We know that the Tree didn't tell Sequoia nothing and Juniper everything, but she doesn't know that. We'll be exploring the impact of this further down the road.
Anonymoose 3rd Apr 2018, 9:44 AM edit delete reply
I do caution you against so much dialogue packed onto a page at a time though, because I didn't even notice Juniper wasn't telling Sequoia her exact experience - I glazed over it because it seemed like she was just rehashing. Maybe if what you've said isn't evident to your reader, you should revisit how you present it! But I'll stay on the lookout for Sequoia's reactions.
Me 3rd Apr 2018, 6:53 PM edit delete reply
Personally I love Juniper’s expressions in the right hand panels.
AuntieKay 4th Apr 2018, 3:14 PM edit delete reply
And take a trip with them !